I am not the answer to everything.

This will be a rant. Short and purposeful. I do not have all the answers. I barely have any. Today, for the third time in a week, my husband asked me where HIS alarm clock was. I don't know, I sez for the third time. I have two alarm clocks, I don't use yours, it's wherever you left it. No, he insists, you did something with it. I always leave it in the same place, it's not there. I DON'T KNOW I snap. He leaves the room, I go to his side of the bed, look under it, and lo and behold, there it is. He asks where his ties are, where his blue suspenders are. Gee, last time I wore your tie......
The uterus is not a tracking device. I don't know, I don't have to know, and I like not knowing. I don't know anything, I am just as helpless and dumb as you. Dumber, even. I am not, and have not the answer to everything. And whoever told you I do is wrong. Insert Samuel L Jackson voice here: I don't know a goddamned thing.
The End.